In so many ways, our sexuality and sexual behaviors lie in an area of shadow for us, and contain a high degree of emotional and mental energy … yet they remain among our greatest secrets. So many of us have been taught that our sexuality is somehow bad, or have had the natural gift of our sexuality “unwrapped” at the wrong time or in some traumatic way in our lives. Sexuality may become compulsive or the opposite — feared or strenuously avoided — and costly to us and our loved ones in negative ways. In order to regain control of our lives, we may need to seek help from one or more of the following: a twelve-step group, a therapist, or a therapy group. And control doesn’t happen only by “not doing” … it is achieved through a process of life change during which we begin to learn to receive things we have always wanted and needed.
To begin your own journey of healing, it is important to connect with someone who CAN understand these issues. Many therapists are not trained in this area, and are uncertain about how to proceed, but the community of qualified clinicians is growing. I am one of them, and it would be my privilege to help you get going.
If you would like to attend a twelve-step meeting (highly recommended), please see my “Links & Resources” page for the relevant contact numbers, where you can ask more questions and receive meeting locations and schedules. You do not have to wait to see a therapist before attending one of these very useful meetings.
Links and resources
The different “S-groups” vary in character and in who attends them. I encourage you to research them and ask questions! This will help you to find your “fit.”
Sexhelp.com, Dr. Patrick Carnes’ Resources for Sexual Addiction and Recovery
SASH, The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
Chicago Sexaholics Anonymous (630) 415-0341
Chicago area S-Anon (678) 667-2666
Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office (SA)
S-Anon International Family Groups
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
Greater Chicago SLAA Intergroup
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA)
COSA (for the codependent of sexual addiction or co-sex addict)